Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Bad Behavior

Because you were upset, you turned on Ice and pushed him so hard that he landed on the floor from standing up. And there was a loud thump as his head hit the floor. The good thing was, it seems he wasn't really THAT hurt because a short trip outside in the arms of his mother calmed him down readily and he still wanted to play with you after.

I spanked your bottom. I also slapped your hand. Not that hard, but I hit you still. Mommy was so angry and ashamed of what you did because someone was hurt (your aunt just couldn't really get angry with us but am sure she was seething) but most of all, Mommy was actually angry and ashamed of herself for not being more attuned to you to catch such tantrums. And Mommy is struggling with the disciplining bit. She is trying to be as consistent as possible and I guess it's natural that you will rage against it initially, or sometimes, but the tears are always hard.

I'm sorry I hit you. I'm sorry I am not a better Mom. I'm sorry but I will continue to let you cry sometimes because I have to raise you valuing what's good.


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