It was a horrible day again for us yesterday... I was a horrible Mom again, being sick and preoccupied and you having all this restless energy with no more swimming lessons to burn them in.
I am sorry.
There were days also recently wherein Ninang Gang allowed you to play outside but you'd get overzealous about running with the other neighborhood kids that you'd forget your boundaries and head where Ninang cannot see you... and both you and Ninang will come home upset... and you will vent your anger on me by hitting and biting me.
I 'punished' you by 'no reading' for 3 days... explaining to you that it really hurts me when you hit, and I want you to feel how it is when there is no caring. Because you really love reading. And I think, this last day without you, you sort of finally understood. Plus, Pappie talked to you and instructed you to go hit the punching bag all you want when you're angry... and then smile after. Haha.
I am sorry too, I know you loved having a companion in Ate Duday for two weeks... but she couldn't stay with us. I know, I see, how much you want a regular playmate now... and regular play.
You were great in your swimming lessons though... and have started with your summer parent-child class at St. Michael. I really hope we can come up with the funds to pay for your tuition there this June. Just a few thousand pesos short, my darling.
You're still a great brother although you really are getting more competitive for attention. Just last Black Saturday, you tried carrying the rocker with Yamee in it, I think, which resulted in the rocker tipping over with Yamee in it. Good thing he was strapped to it so I'm pretty sure he was just annoyed at the awkward position I found him in. Good thing too that you immediately called my attention to it.
Oh... you fell super in love with The Incredibles... but your imagination is getting the better of you. You're always pretending to be a superhero slaying a villain that you have started to hit for no reason, even strangers... which is why Mommy had to withdraw all TV/show privileges. Weirdly enough, you're surviving pretty well. You remember all the shows still but have accepted that you cannot watch any of your old shows... and actually seem to like watching all the cooking shows Mommy watches. Then again, they do sometimes eat bugs so you're intrigued.
It's hard to make you eat, sleep and you still refuse to poop in the potty. And you're such a fan of veggies and fish, I really ought to just give you a bowl of them instead of rice.
You can now pretty much hitch yourself up anywhere... I was telling your father that you're actually not just lean, you're leanly muscled. :)
And lately... you have been telling me, reminding me, asking me, insisting that you're my baby. It is so hard trying to help you understand that you always will be... Sometimes, I know I am being hard on you because I do not know any better, and I am mostly scared. Sometimes, I know I am being hard on you because you're the eldest and I want you to set a good example for your little brother. It's unfair, darling, I know... but I really hope I can make you see that there are perks to all these.
Miscellaneous FB status about you:
Yakee: Mommy, I think it's like a fountain.
(referring to his peen when he pees)
Yakee puts a ball on Yamee's chest
"Look Mommy, he's a mermaid!"
Yakee tugs at my shirt.
"Mommy, I swallowed a ball. I'm a mermaid now."
(things he thinks up over Mutya, hehe... told him he's a merman 'coz he's a boy)
Yakee's fave scapegoat-y thing to say: "I think the fairy got it."
was scolding Yakee last night for not eating properly when Yakee suddenly stood up in front of her and started singing:
"sana'y pag-ibig na lang, ang isipin..."
"Mommy are you sad, or in love?" (Yakee)
It will be a series of classes for Yakee: swimming lessons from Bert Lozada Swim School (because we believe that knowing how to swim is empowering); play/life classes at St. Michael playhouse (parent-child program) and trial football classes with Futbol Unlimited.
I think i'm starting the school run early :D
Yakee: Mommy can I drawn with you?
Me: You mean, draw?
Yakee: No, drawn... you know, like swimming.
Me: Drown, you mean? You want to drown with me?
Me: Yakee, please tell Yamee (who is gnawing on her arm) that Mommy is not food.
Yakee: No, Mommy, it's ok. He's just practicing.
Yakee: Mommy, when Yamee grows up and is bigger, I will be happy. He can carry me! (super delighted face here)
Mommy: Uhm, mahal, even if Yamee grows bigger, you will still be bigger than him since you're older so you will carry him. Unless he grows as big as Pappie before you do.
Yakee: Yes, and when he's as big as Pappie, he will carry me! (sorry Yamee, intent si Kuya, you have your work cut out for you)
asked Yakee to thread the yarn through the basket... he wound it around the stairs, furniture and his body instead. I am counting up to 100 :D
Yakee has been telling Pappie that he's angry with me because I'm always taking care of Yamee. Don't know what to do with the information since I feel it's my duty to give as much caring to Yamee as I did with Yakee... plus, Yamee keeps on crying from being woken up or gigil by Kuya. *disaster*
has the happy problem of having a son who devours veggies, even bargains for more... but has to be prodded to eat his rice and meat. I won't bother with the rice if he wasn't so lean.
last attempt at a Milkaholic pic coz all their shirts are getting small for them na
Parenting confusion: Yakee throws bigger tantrums and tests his limits more after QT... how come? Shouldn't the quality, one-on-one time w/ a parent help mellow him out? Or pagod lang yung parent after the QT so the tantrums seem worse? *weird*
Yakee: Mommy, this is not for swimming ok? This is a forest for the eating. (referring to Kainan sa Dalampasigan)
Me: See, Mommy's removing the core so you can eat more of the apple.
Yakee: Wow, Mommy, thank you so much. You are so good, you're a super Mommy... and I am the superhero Yakee.
ehem... ehem :) *made my day*
Me: E is for Earth, it's the planet we live in.
Yakee: Planet? Like Pizza Planet?
(hindi naman halatang nagka-Toy Story phase kami?)
Oh gosh... sana lang 15 yrs from now, there won't be a pic like this... where Yakee's grinning as he puffs on a ciggy... and Yamee is trying to light up his *arrghhh*
Terrible moment this morning: while crossing the road with Yakee, we witnessed a teenage boy snatching someone's Blackberry (from a jeep passenger). Realized how sheltered my boy's life had been. Realized too that I cannot shield him from society's evils for much longer.
while crossing the road
Yakee: Mommy, who snatched the cellphone?
was looking forward to adoration only a baby can give to its Mom... alas, though, Yakee is the apple of Yamee's eyes! Hirit naman ni Pappie, "so dapat talaga magka-girl tayo para may fan naman ako?"
believes Yakee experienced one of his most bittersweet days yesterday... watching his brother try solid food (and being so happy about it) and forcing attention from everybody by being unruly (out of jealousy)... the curse & privilege of being the eldest *haayst*
has to believe that she has what it takes to parent her cantankerous 5-mo old and spirited 3-yr old. *sigh*
not a flattering shot but this is what's keeping Yakee busy so far... and what's helping us with his energy levels. Don't know what we'll do once he's finished w/ the lessons, haha
Proud of Yakee for being so supportive and happy for his younger bro.
Wet spots on the bed? Yamee. Scattered toys on the floor? Yakee. But the time when i'd have to really guess who did what and both boys denying everything is coming oh so soon.
conversation between us
Yakee: Hello, butterfly.
Me: Uhm, hi bee.
Yakee (beaming): Butterfly, come, let's play.
Me: Uhm, wait little bee. I have to change this caterpillar's (Yamee) diaper.
...Yakee: Mommy, we are so cute.
hehe... so now, Yakee always calls me butterfly!